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The Ass-Kickings Will Continue Until Morale Fails Completely

I’m not sure what’s going on right now, to tell the truth. It doesn’t seem limited to me. Neal’s been getting his ass-kicked by the world, and I know Trautmann’s been taking heavy fire, too. Seems like it’s going around.

The last two weeks have been Festival of Flux, and output has dropped to near zero.

Well, to be honest, with rewrites, I’d have to say “negative zero.” Seriously. Goes like this. I write. I write. I write. It goes slooooowly. I am over-thinking. I stop. I read what I have write-ed. I do not like the words I have assembled, and thus, I decide to try to fix them, but am limited in that I have only 26 of these symbol thingies to make the words and either they are broken, I am broken, or the words are Not Right.

So I scrap the whole fucking thing and make a second attempt. And a third. And a fourth. And a fifth. And a sixth. And a seventh. (Seriously, I’ll stop when I reach where I stopped). And an eighth. And a ninth. And a tenth. And an eleventh.

This morning was twelve, and twelve was where I realized that the little symbols worked just fine, and even the words were still entirely functional, it was my brain that wasn’t right. So I stopped. That is what I am doing now. Stopping.

I will work on Another Project. I will make a couple of phone calls that I desperately need to return. I will watch the DVD reel that ACC sent me once again and decide if I like it or not. I will watch television, because the show is executive produced by David Mamet, who I do not often agree with, but whom I do believe Can Write Like A Motherfuck. I will get some sleep.

I will work on Other Things. Yes, I will. And I will not think about the Work I am not doing, because that is counter-productive in the extreme. I will let my back-brain percolate on ideas. I will circle the problem warily. I will bide my time. And when the motherfucker least expects it, I will pounce, and I will write.

This is my plan.

10 Responses to The Ass-Kickings Will Continue Until Morale Fails Completely

  1. dannyperkins

    Don’t take any shit from those symbol thingies Greg!

  2. mercuryeric

    I read what I have write-ed.

    Any man who can write this sentence has nothing to fear.

  3. rubincomp

    I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. The words have not been coming the way they should…you put’em next to each other, but they don’t make the sense that you want. It took me FOUR HOURS to write a pretty straightforward article on Sunday. And that took many, many, many, many, many video game breaks.

    Today I think I’m getting sick, and I have accomplished almost exactly nothing–zero.

    So now I’m eating cereal, and will take an Airborn (so I don’t get sick so much) and sleep.

    You should sleep too. Sleep makes the brain hurts get lesser.

  4. davesbu

    amazingly, i’ve been nothing but locked down this month. With little moments where I break down. Plus having to go to a 9-5 doesn’t help productivity but I’m pretty satisfied with my output this month as opposed to others. I always suffer in the summer time, because all I want to do is play outside. I’m glad its cooling down and money is short so I can do nothing but stay inside.

  5. rantcomics

    Sitting here, silently cursing the 26 little men on my keyboard who continue to mock the five pages I don’t think I’ll be writing tonight, I’m glad to see that better writers than I are doing the very same thing…

  6. nealbailey

    Like I was telling Jen last night, realizing and acknowledging the fact that something is out of whack, not working, loose and jangling, then writing down that because of that you’re stepping away for a bit sometimes jars things back into order. It’s weird. For instance, after my wrath of journal last night, I managed to suss out the outline for this project I’m writing (cough) involving an Ayn Rand character and finally nailed what I think I was going for.

    My biggest fear about trying to make it as a writer, actually, is agreeing to something and suddenly having IT, that period of time where you can write it, but your heart isn’t in it and it wouldn’t be right. I think it’s why I’m constantly reading six books instead of one, and working on an audio serial, comics, reviews, novels…I go with whatever is killing me at the moment, and that palpable fear when X has to be done, and NOW, must be extraordinary.

    All you need though is for George to punch Biff. You’ll fly right up and be playing Earth Angel in no time.

  7. brother_d73

    Ain’t writing grand? :)

    I’m struggling to get a short story finished before month’s end so I have a clean slate and clear deck before NaNoWriMo kicks in November 1. I know how it needs to be written. I know the story, the characters, the characterizations, the pacing, the blah-blah-blah . . . but it’s just slow in getting from my brain to my fingers to the keyboard.

    (And, yeah, you’re right about The Unit. Say what you want about Mamet – and I’ll probably agree! – but the brother can throw the words down marvelously . . . !)

  8. dewline

    You’re absolutely right, and it’s not limited to you. Annoying, but I think you’ve got the right approach to solving it.

  9. stealthbunny

    Yep, it’s going ’round. I myself cannot believe how much frantic work I have done, how wildly busy I have been, and yet… have gotten absolutely nothing accomplished. In fact, the harder I’ve tried, the less I’ve completed.

    I dunno… maybe because the days are so much shorter? It used to be that I worked better at night, but as I grow older, I seem to be leaning more towards daylight hours. And when there’s fewer daylight hours, I seem to run around in circles, doing a lot of getting nothing done. At least, nothing that seems productive. And then I get caught up on the mind-cycle of… if I’m doing THIS, I’m not getting THAT done, which just makes me spin my wheels uselessly even more.

  10. hero_writer

    Ummm

    You do realize, sir, that your Not Right words are probably better than anything my sorry butt has ever written when I’m on fire and in the zone?! Hell, better than anything I’ve written when I’m setting fire to the damned zone?!

    It’ll pass. Your plan is a sound one.

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